1. Is the actor who played Adebisi anything like his character in real life?

   meloni   no

2. Have you ever been violently ill?

   meloni   yup

3. Have you ever read "To Kill a Mockingbird."?

   meloni   nope

Bernice Clifton   Answered Oct 9th 1:40 PM

Dearest Mr. Meloni,

A little curtsy in your direction: well, actually some might say that I am lifting my skirt in your direction, but pay them no mind. Just consider it a minor salute to your male pulchritude.

I have so many questions for you, and I want to make sure I ask the right ones, so that I can duly impress you.

1. Is everyone invited to a bachelor party a bachelor? And is there a confirmation ceremony? I met a confirmed bachelor once, but I couldn't get him to turn off his Barbra Streisand records. Did you all listen to Streisand recordings during the bachelor party?

   meloni   babs was not listened to. I think one of the donkeys was married

2. If I wanted to stalk you where would I go? I promise not to tell anyone.

   meloni   Karachi- go and wait, I'll be there

3. Once I saw your co-star sing in a dress, I realized where I'd seen him before - in that wonderful Billy Wilder film with Marilyn Monroe. You two certainly make an Odd Couple, however, who has better chemistry, you and whatshisname, or him and Tony Curtis, or you and Tony Curtis for that matter?

   meloni   that was Marliyn Manson

4. Do you know any electrical engineers that are not confirmed bachelors? I have an appliance or two that need adjusting.

   meloni   many are working in Karachi. go, they'll be there

5. This is the most important question of all. I believe only you can help me. I am having so much trouble with my Keller action figure. I don't mind that I have to keep emptying the bucket so many times a day. Actually I just pour into the flowerpots. It doesn't really matter that the laundry room accessory gets splattered on a regular basis. It doesn't matter that it doesn't do sign language like my Patty Duke doll. However, the first sign of trouble was when I noticed that my Ken doll had all its limbs broken. My gay Billy doll was flat on it back with its head off to the side and Barbie suddenly had red hair and seemed like someone had pumped her up. She had gained so much weight. Well, one morning the Keller action figure [not Helen, Chris] had its arms up in the air with a little sign that said, "I am God." I notice that Barbie [although she won't answer to that anymore] had this satisfied smile on her face. Mysteriously I received this Las Vegas Wedding Chapel accessory in the mail. What on earth can I do to get my little figures back to normal? Someone suggested that I buy a little laundry truck, out them all in it and send them off in the direction of Bayonne, New Jersey. Is that what I should do? Oh, and by the way, it is so very difficult to find a Sister Pete doll without lint on its sweater. Should I go for the Googie Gomez companion doll instead or the saucy Anita one from the West Side?

   meloni   yes this is the most important question. the answer is... hold on, my phone is ringing

6. I almost forgot, I was once engaged to this man named Spaz -- we were going to open Wedding Chapels together, but he became enraptured with Stephanie March. Do you know where I can bump into that she-beast in NYC?

   meloni   yes, refer to answer 5

7. Oh and one more thing! Would you know if Eamonn Walker is attracted to *slightly* older women with an arterial flow problem who like to sing? Just out of curiosity. Oh, and if I wanted to stalk *him* where would I go? Just out of curiosity. I promise not to tell anybody

   meloni   you have in fact described his 'dream' girl you can find him somewhere in London. good luck

Melanie   Answered Oct 9th 1:12 PM

Hi there Chris!!
Just a couple questions for ya....

1. when will we be seeing you on the new Law & Order: Criminal Intent?

   meloni   log on to Dick Wolfs website and ask him

2. do you think the Redskins will win the superbowl?

   meloni   in the next decade, yes

3. if you coached the Redskins, what changes would you make?

   meloni   get rid of the owner, trade for linemen and draft a qb

4. who taught you to fold clothes? you sure do a crappy job on OZ.

   meloni   my mother so watch yer yap

5. are you a latte type, or regular java?

   meloni   espresso

6. do you think the Rangers will actually play like a real team now that they have Lindros? Since you asked my opinion on the team....they suck, and even with that baby, they still won't make the playoffs.

   meloni   what did I tell you about yer yap?

7. wanna come over for Canadian thanksgiving? Its this weekend, so ya better hurry!!

   meloni   sorry, I'm getting a pedicure

8. my phone call still hasn't come for my part on OZ. Are you sure you told them about me?

   meloni   yeah, but they had concerns about yer yap

Cos' if it had 4 doors it would be a chicken sedan. (Cute eh? Feel free to use it..)

meloni   uh...wow

Thanks as always!!

Renee aka prettyeyes   Answered Oct 9th 1:07 PM

Hi Chris! Hope you're feeling better! On to the you-know-whats:

1. Being the 'Skins fan that you are, given their problems, do you think that they have *any* chance of playing in the next Super Bowl?

   meloni   Ha

2. What do you think of Michael Jordan's comeback?

   meloni   great for the game, great for him, best for the wizards

3. When Chris met Toby: Love at first sight, hot monkey lust, or a little of both?

   meloni   he had a job to do

4. Now we'll move on to an "Oz" cast member of sorts: your ...erh, member. We've seen it in the shower, we've seen it in the hole, we've seen it in protective custody (sort of) & we've even seen it peeing in a bucket. Will we see it again next season?

   meloni   yes, Keller escapes by 'jimmying' a lock with it

5. On "SVU," you've appeared in tank tops, shorts & most memorably, in bikini briefs. Will you be appearing scantily clad this season?

   meloni   yes, bikini briefs again with matching bra top and then I 'jimmy' a lock...oh wait, wrong show

6. In the last set of questions, you said that what happened at LT's bachelor party "[couldn't] be mentioned in polite society," but since we Melonians aren't polite (well, not *all* the time), did the bachelor party have:
   a) Alcohol
   b) Strippers
   c) Porn
   d) Farm Animals
   e) At least half of the above

   meloni   you have not even scratched the surface. did I mention that I lost the key to the mini bar and I had to 'jimmy' the lock...

Giovanni   Answered Oct 9th 1:02 PM

Well, I've decided to go to Rome for my best friend's wedding. I sometimes surprise myself with my own courage (some might call it insanity).

1. Anyway, what would you like from Rome?

   meloni   a beatification for Fontana from the pope

Trish   Answered Oct 8th 6:42 PM

First I would like to tell you that I've admired you since the early 90's (I've liked your work too! Ha). Thanks for taking the time to answer all these questions that we (with no life) think are important. Actually, I have a pretty busy life, and this is my therapy......

1. How old were you when you had your first kiss? How old was she?

   meloni   both were 5

2. Who is your favorite Winnie the Pooh character?

   meloni   tigger

3. Pajamas or no pajamas? (Who wears pajama's anymore?) Sweats or no sweats etc.?

   meloni   what do you think?

Yasmin   Answered Oct 8th 6:47 PM

Yasmin (yeppers that's my real name there! Like it? *wink*) aka Yazzy, otherwise known as the college student who is never ever going to graduate from college in southern california because studying massive amounts of sciences are just too damn hard! Anyways, on with the questions:

1. I'm on my third year here in college and most of my friends will be graduating next year... which leaves me *cough, cough* thinking two, okay three things:
   (a) should I just switch my major to history and become a high school history teacher
   (b) keep on plugging away for a nursing degree even if it does take me 8 years
   (c) *long pause* drop out of school and get a BABYSITTING JOB FOR ONE MAN WHOSE INITALS ARE CM! :D
   (Disregard c because I don't think I could pay rent and utilities with *that* job! *just kidding, just kidding)

   meloni   if yer questions were shorter I'm sure you could finish schoool in 7 1/2 years. think about it

2. What do you like to eat for THanksgiving? The whole turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, bread rolls, string beans, and a variety of baked pies dinner? OR Take out? perhaps ham or ribs? Tofurkey? (yes it is a turkey made out of TOFU)

   meloni   roasted kittens

3. Is there any particular book you would want Sophia to enjoy very much? Such as "to Kill a Mockingbird" or "The Scarlet Letter" maybe the play "Death of A Salesman"? Basically the books you remember reading in school that you found yourself actually enjoying.

   meloni   it's her life she'll tell me which ones she'll like and maybe enlighten me

4. Think it was a good idea for Michael Jordan to go back to the big leagues? Is that right? Do they have the Big Leagues in basketball?(as you can see I clearly am not a sports fan so I don't know the right vernacular I am supposed to be using here....)

   meloni   great for the Wizards

5. I will soon be turing 21 in October. *huge grin* Are there any good bars in LA you would recommend for a first timer?

   meloni   a first timer at doing what?

Stephanie aka Siggy   Answered Oct 8th 7:02 PM

Hi, Chris :) This is my first time with the questions, so be gentle, ok?

I'm probably one of the youngest fans on your website (just turned 19), and I was suprised to find that L&O:SVU had a decent following here on campus. Neal Baer was quoted as saying that SVU was a "socially responsible" show.
1. Did you realize the impact SVU has on the younger generation, paticularly the college scene?

   meloni   I am clueless

2. Last year, Rita Moreno captivated a large audience here at Kutztown University, and muMs (Poet) will be stopping by on November 8th. If we ever extended an official invitation, would you consider dropping by? Or is public speaking not on your list of top ten fun things to do? ;)

   meloni   what would I have to impart upon you kids

3. Finally, I have to ask... What happened to the Washington Redskins?? (I'm sorry, I had to throw that one in!)

   meloni   wow

Thank you for your time

Renee aka Prettyeyes   Answered Sep 29th 4:08 PM

I want to give you my heartfelt condolences for your loss. As someone who's lost a loved one to violence, I can definitely sympathize.

1. My question is, do you think that the U.S. should go to war ? Thanks.

   meloni   no comment

I am very sorry for your loss...I have suffered a similar loss, a friend of twenty years, and considering our ages (24&29) we grew up together. I also live in New York and I have an infant daughter so I feel the urge to get up and go West away from our great city which has become a target, mostly for my daughter's well-being.

1. I am wondering if you have any similar feelings for your family? (I know that this is an off-topic remark, but I respect you as an actor because you put forth such heart, so sincere, I would truly love some words of wisdom.)

   meloni   you know what's best for you, what can I add

Christy   Answered Sep 29th 4:04 PM

1. Is there a vast conspiracy to keep Lee Tergesen from guest starring on SVU? And if so, may I be a part of effort to thwart it?

   meloni   yes, it's me. I'm envious of that little bitch and am spending an inordinate amount of time trying to scuttle his career. And if you get in my way you will be swept aside.

2. Speaking of Lee, did you give away groom at his wedding? Jump out of cake at bachelor party? When they asked if anyone there knew any reason why these two people should not be joined together...you see where I'm going with this?

   meloni   I was not in wedding party. the bachelor party can not be discussed in polite society and yes I screamed out at the ceremony-'YOU POD MATE STEALING BITCH! PLEASE, SOMEONE STOP THIS HOORIBLE MISTAKE. MAKE IT STOP. or something along those lines

3. Have you kissed any recently-wed, blond, blue eyed male costars in the last 10 months? On camera, I mean.

   meloni   tune in and see

4. Finally, the burning question on everyone's lips: Beecher and Keller: Who's on top?

   meloni   the one who likes to pitch

Chris -

Thank you for always graciously taking the time to acknowledge your fans. From a New Yorker, to a New Yorker, I just wanted to get your views about the Sept. 11th tragedy . . .

1. Though you live in the city, has this tragedy left you feeling at all isolated? Emotionally, professionally, etc?
2. Do you think other actors have tried to capitalize on the tragedy, i.e. boosting their public image by very publicly giving large donations?
3. If you could donate your time, would you? And if so, how?
4. What do you think of Mayor Guliani? Do you think he should remain in his position for the next three months as he proposed?

   meloni   Sorry, I'm not answering anything that has to do with Sept. 11. except to say I think Guiliani has done a great job

Thanks for your words,

Doreen   Answered   Sep 22nd 9:50 PM

Hi Chris,

1. Just wondering how you're doing in the aftermath of the tragedy in New York?

   meloni not well

2. How are your family and friends?

   meloni   family well best friend dead

Giovanni   Answered Sep 22nd 9:53 PM

We were glad to hear that the three of you were safe and sound.

"Sophia" not only is the same name of one of the most beautiful women in the world, but, accordingly, also means wisdom.

1. What do you think would be the most valuable wisdom you could impart to your child?

   meloni   hate is a draining bottomless pit from whence nothing good or of any value can come. try to eat a balanced diet. guys only want one thing

Evie   Answered Sep 22nd 9:55 PM

Chris, just let me start off by saying that i can't wait until the new season of OZ begins. Until then I am enjoying the new episodes of SUV.

1. My question is this: Who is your favorite SNL character or actor (Molly shannon, Gilda Radnor,...)?
   Thanx for yer time.

   meloni   Murray, teri Oshari, Farrell, carvey, Murphy, Radner

Castro   Answered Sep 22nd 9:55 PM

1. If Denis Leary weren't there to do it, is his role in "The Job" one you would like to do?

   meloni   sure, but I really love the way he does it

Vanessa   Answered Sep 18th 1:00 PM

Chris, I was wondering what kind of ending you would write for the Keller and Beecher relationship if you could

1. Would you give them a 'happy ending' or would it be an angsty ending with a character death or something like that.

   meloni   I'd have them break out of OZ together run and hide, assume new names and identities. Keller would run a laundromat and beecher would be a stay at home kinda wife

Marcus   Answered Sep 18th 12:51 PM

1. How are you doing, man? Everything going good?

   meloni   poorly. no

2. Are you a Queen fan?

   meloni   Elizabeth?- not particularly. The group?- yes

3. What is your favorite horror movie? (In case your interested, dawn of the Dead is my fave)

   meloni   nightmare on elm street

Evie Marie   Answered Sep 18th 12:53 PM

1. What did you always want to be when you grew up?

   meloni   everything

2. If you had to choose a "last meal" what would it be?

   meloni   venison, great bottle of red, tiramasu

3. will your daughter ever see your portrayal of Keller on "OZ"?

   meloni   sure

>Tiffany   Answered Sep 18th 12:54 PM

Hey Chris,

1. Just wanted to know what you were doing this summer? Filming anything? I thought I saw you running in Central Park but didn't want to bother you and approach. :)

   meloni   vacationing, kicking around, did a short film, LA

Great job! Love watching ya!

Renee, aka Prettyeyes   Answered Sep 18th 12:58 PM

What's up! Hope you & yours had a great summer! Here come the you-know-whats, so brace yourself:

1. Have you read the "Metal Rules" interview of Lee Tergesen yet?

   meloni   no, but I'd love to

2. Did you catch B/K's cameo in Episode Five of "Six Feet Under," which was directed by Kathy Bates?

   meloni   no, but I heard

3. Since you're a fan of dark heavy metal (as opposed to the "light" kind, LOL), I was wondering if you've heard of Slipknot, who perform in masks and/or Mudvayne, who showed up at this year's "MTV" VMAs in blood-stained white dinner jackets-and fake bullet wounds on their heads?

   meloni   heard of them, I didn't see the mtv thing but I wonder how cute and shocking they think that get-up is now after what's just happened

4. Have you gotten tired of changing Sophia's diapers yet?

   meloni   no

5. Do you plan to watch "Band Of Brothers," the HBO miniseries which features your "Oz" co-star Kirk Acevedo & "Shot In The Heart," which features LT & your "twin," Elias Koteas?

   meloni   sure

6. "Spartacus" or "Gladiator?"

   meloni   sparticus for the 'camp' gladiator for the opening scene

7. "Enter The Dragon" or "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon?"

   meloni   crouching

Ron   Answered Sep 18th 1:02 PM

I saw you the other day going into your gym in Manhattan. (Of course I won't say which gym.) You were wearing shades, a baseball hat and a tank top. I recognized you immediately but you know your tattoo is a dead giveaway.

Anyway I wanted to come over to you and say hi. But I could not think of anything original to say. I thought crap like "I'm your biggest fan, love your butt or tattoo, blah, blah" is all stuff you have heard. In all seriousness I am a huge fan and have great respect for your acting.

1. Can you give me some insight into what you would not find offensive or annoying and before you reply, I know you joke a lot, but I would like a serious answer.

   meloni   I never find sincerity offensive...so, be sincere

PS. I am happy to read that they are going to make Stabler more character driven this year.

Calvin   Answered Sep 7th 4:58 PM

1. A few years ago in an interview with HBO.com, I remember you stating that you felt that Keller could very well be the most evil character (or was it dangerous?) in Oz. Do you still think that?

   meloni   I don't remmeber saying that...I don't agree with that even if I did say it...uh so...what was the question?

DinaAnswered Sep 7th 4:59 PM

1. After watching "Secret Identifies" I was wondering what size your chest is?

   meloni   I am a C cup (all natural, no implants thank you)

Kerry   Answered Sep 7th 5:00 PM

1. Any chance you'll ever do The Howard Stern show? I'd love to hear that chitchat

   meloni   would love to

Ame   Answered Sep 7th 7:02 PM

I really liked your performance in Shift.

1. Were you aware before you did the film that prisoners were being paid such low wages for labour?

   meloni   No

2. And what was it like working with Eric Thal on the film?

   meloni   I had no scenes with him but he seemed like a nice enough guy

Brian (yep, that Brian)   Answered Sep 7th 7:06 PM

Oz. You just know someone had to ask, so why not me. Without giving away any secrets (unless you want to)

1. Will we be surprised by any of Keller's story line?

   meloni   I think so

2. Were *you* surprised by any of Keller's story line (hints are welcomed)

   meloni   no I was in on it

3. Did you work with any guest star(s) this season - feel free to give us their names :) - who particularly impressed you.

   meloni   well I gotta say I can't remember too clearly everyone, but thru the mist of time and clogged rot of my brain I will say I had no bad experiences and some really intense ones

4. Only six episodes? Is that good or bad? Does it mean if there's a 6th season Keller will continue to weave his black magic

   meloni   i sit poised with knitting needles

Patricia   Answered Sep 7th 7:07 PM

1. You were at the Top Cops Awards in Washington last year. Will you be there again this year?

   meloni   hopefully, if schedule allows, it was a great experience

Amytych   Answered Sep 7th 7:09 PM

Chris,

I saw you in the audience at ``The Seagull'' in Central Park on Friday, Aug.10. It was a pleasant surprise.

1. How did you enjoy the show?

   meloni   I was extremely jet lagged so in between nodding out I thought some performances were great others not so and Meryl is a genius

2. Did you come see the show for a particular actor or just for a pleasant evening at the theater?

   meloni   is there a better way to see theatre?

3. Are you a subscriber to the New York Shakespeare Festival?

   meloni   no

4. Would you consider performing in a summer production at the Delacorte Theater or other regional theaters?

   meloni   yes

5. Do you have any plans to do any theater productions in the future?

   meloni   not right now

Kathy   Answered Sep 7th 7:10 PM

Hi Chris,

1. Just wondering if Lee has met Sophia yet? Woulden't he make a great babysitter

   meloni   he has and uh...well...hm...baby sitting?

Blondie   Answered Sep 7th 7:11 PM

Hi Chris,

1. Since you seem to have been alot of different places, I thought I would ask your advise. Have you ever been to Puerto Rico? If so, anyplace that you would suggest I not miss. We are planning a trip there in December, maybe even getting married there. Since I have never been anywhere, thought I'd ask a well-traveled man. Thanks and congrat's on your baby girl.

   meloni   I dated a peurto rican one time and that's as much as I know of PR

Umbresogma   Answered Sep 7th 7:17 PM

Dear Mr. Meloni, I would like to say I'm you're biggest fan, but I'm not. So I'm you're biggest 17 years old fan. You are a realy great actor, and person, I hope you never change ^_^

. Anyway I have few questions (of wich some are personal, some just unusall, but I hope no one has asked them before me)

1. If you would get an offer to do a movie with Jet Li, would you do it? (I think it would be great, to see you two, one as a good guy, other as a bad guy)

   meloni   I'd only do it if I could hold my own against him for a good 10 minutes before he destroyed me

2. What do you think about weapons??? (Are you a pacifist?)

   meloni   I don't think we need handguns

3. What do you prefer boxing or hmmm....Taekwondo (or similar)

   meloni   muay thai kickboxing, gracie jui jitsu, boxing

4. Keeping warm by fire at winter, or trying to cool of in summer?

   meloni   how about feeling the crispness of fall and the sensuality of spring

5. If it's not a secret, do you have any phobia (like of heights, darkness, spiders, etc.)

   meloni   not a fan of heights but no phobia

6. The last question. I like to writte stories, so can I base one character on you? If I can what name should I give him?

   meloni   get spell checker before you start to writte :) and I've always liked the name Baron Von Hercules Abdullah

Robyn   Answered Sep 7th 7:19 PM

Hiya Christopher,
This is me, watching reruns of SVU, and I found myself staring at the top of your head. I want to know something, and I sincerely hope you don't think this rude. Remember that a terminal case of hot thighs cannot be dictated to by a hairline.

1. Does the makeup person on SVU 'fill in'? Your hair is made a bit thicker and darker, isn't it? Is it that Ron Popeill powder stuff? Or the spray dye we use onstage?

   meloni   they knock out a oppossum and tape him to my head